tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66440763936368717912024-02-20T12:49:43.962-08:00Cooking With Villainy!Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-70190832535028432122015-09-17T09:32:00.000-07:002015-09-17T09:40:29.775-07:00Spicy Orange Chicken<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Doom was not invited to any supervillain fantasy football leagues this year. This does not surprise Doom. Nothing does. Doom prepares for every contingency, including the high probability that Magneto, Fisk, and Red Skull are cowering cowards who cower cowardly.<br />
<br />
They begrudge Doom's triumph last year when Team You Put the Doom Doom Into My Heart thrashed their pathetic squads of jerk losers. You slept on Jordy Nelson, morons. You got got. Doom spent the winnings on baubles and trinkets. Your money means nothing to one who rules a kingdom. Your tears of failure are all the currency Doom desires.<br />
<br />
Now that Doom's weeks and weekends are unencumbered with number crunching and smack-talk emails, other matters may take precedence. One cannot prepare too soon for Halloween. Already Doombots and Latverian peasants harvest the genetically modified pumpkins which grow with a variety of faces. We need not lose time to carving faces. No, our gourds sprout and swell even now with the tortured visages of Doom's enemies. Rows of Accursed Richards jerk o'lanterns will adorn Doom's porch in anticipation of children dressed as he. No other costumes are allowed. All adults eagerly bestow the finest candies upon Dooms of all ages, as is only proper.<br />
<br />
Doom himself requires naught that evening but the greatest of all confection: Krackel candy bars. By the dark gods, that stuff is the business.<br />
<br />
As is Doom's latest dish, direct from the culinary grimoire passed down from Doom's dear mother. Attend and savor, weaklings.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">SPICY ORANGE CHICKEN</span><br />
<br />
One package of chicken thighs<br />
1 red bell pepper, seeded and diced<br />
1 tablespoon Cayenne powder<br />
8 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed<br />
1/2 cup olive oil<br />
2 tablespoons dried thyme leaves<br />
2 tablespoons pepper flakes<br />
2 tablespoons ground black pepper<br />
2 tablespoons paprika<br />
2 oranges<br />
salt<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to:<br />
<br />
Combine the red pepper, powder, cloves, and oil in a blender or food processor. Puree until smooth.<br />
<br />
Pour into a bowl and add thyme, flakes, pepper, paprika, and the zest and juice of the oranges. Mix thoroughly.<br />
<br />
Pour mixture onto chicken in a closed bowl or Ziploc bag and let sit in a fridge for at least three hours. Overnight is preferable. One week is negligence.<br />
<br />
Bake chicken in a 400-degree oven for approximately 45 minutes, slightly longer for a gas oven. <br />
<br />
For a side dish, use the same time and temperature for a pan of diced potatoes stirred with olive oil, cilantro, oregano, and basil.<br />
<br />
Remove chicken and add dashes of salt to each piece. This cuts the strength of the juice, which will otherwise overpower the dish. (<i>Why not use less juice?</i> DO NOT QUESTION DOOM.)<br />
<br />
Serve with potatoes.<br />
<br />
Reserve time to praise Doom's name between bites.<br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-18332724978648191982015-08-07T11:35:00.006-07:002015-08-07T11:35:41.542-07:00New Fantastic Four Movie<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Let's agree to not speak of this.</div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-91815113033013666002015-01-27T08:05:00.001-08:002015-01-27T08:06:44.718-08:00New Fantastic Four Trailer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/mI2J9ixAZdw" width="550"></iframe></div>
<br />
Could use more Doom. But then, what couldn't?</div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-15243413909690797472014-09-23T08:47:00.002-07:002014-09-23T08:47:36.091-07:00More New Gallery Art<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I suckered two more fine artist folks to scribble in the Doom sketchbook this weekend during the <a href="http://ashevillecomicexpo.org/" target="_blank">Asheville Comic Expo</a>. BEHOLDIFY!<br />
<br />
Their works join others in the <a href="http://www.cookingwithvillainy.com/2011/06/gallery-of-doom.html" target="_blank">Gallery of Doom</a>.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMEcQM3KCnsXhTlJT4Vnmj93XtLQ_jjyySwFhyphenhyphenI1FtOVBEO9kaWJM6vwm6SfitRqpBFsMUqtdNGda3Qbkl4FfdCG1RcnLqN6jlkjs4pEeMQxbOFmODdKlVQiOqK3rzWqV6u-aWt-UPWEk/s1600/bret+doom.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMEcQM3KCnsXhTlJT4Vnmj93XtLQ_jjyySwFhyphenhyphenI1FtOVBEO9kaWJM6vwm6SfitRqpBFsMUqtdNGda3Qbkl4FfdCG1RcnLqN6jlkjs4pEeMQxbOFmODdKlVQiOqK3rzWqV6u-aWt-UPWEk/s1600/bret+doom.jpg" height="320" width="215" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.animatedtrigger.com/" target="_blank">Brett Marcus Cook</a> (Cannonball Fist) </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoHJiIEg-MxPdGX-5DqABmX-upPO2phmXsW3DCfTm-Up20qmoWv1QsbrmzDoH-5f7Wtn0uZTFo2AEIk1mFM_CbvzK2tQihadfnG4stHVTzoHqi_ZN_W4MATQZTDTAvaIlLd_iPjT9vru0/s1600/dale+doom.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoHJiIEg-MxPdGX-5DqABmX-upPO2phmXsW3DCfTm-Up20qmoWv1QsbrmzDoH-5f7Wtn0uZTFo2AEIk1mFM_CbvzK2tQihadfnG4stHVTzoHqi_ZN_W4MATQZTDTAvaIlLd_iPjT9vru0/s1600/dale+doom.jpg" height="320" width="219" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.jeremy-dale.com/" target="_blank">Jeremy Dale</a> (<i>Skyward</i>)</div>
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Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-46453250666549626222014-08-14T10:33:00.005-07:002014-08-14T10:33:56.473-07:00New Gallery Art<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I got artwork from Danielle Corsetto at her recent signing at Comic Envy in Asheville, NC. This joins the <a href="http://www.cookingwithvillainy.com/2011/06/gallery-of-doom.html" target="_blank">other artwork in the gallery</a><a href="http://www.cookingwithvillainy.com/2011/06/gallery-of-doom.html" target="_blank">http://www.cookingwithvillainy.com/2011/06/gallery-of-doom.html</a>.<br />
<br />
Goo look at her comic strip, <a href="http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/" target="_blank">Girls With Slingshot</a><a href="http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/" target="_blank">s</a>. <br />
<br />
This is gorgeous.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDDD1xDKiyXxJS8wwCBjKP_26d-sgRZkqR2VYdAl3T6kGLr1KXth4Lzm96wL0aDzcgR30PQLq95d43bO1k_uZ8d3gXaTsfiENxePcCpZXrhyphenhyphenbCevbXgRhv-oh_I3YW5MgatfRXQROcloc/s1600/corsettodoom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDDD1xDKiyXxJS8wwCBjKP_26d-sgRZkqR2VYdAl3T6kGLr1KXth4Lzm96wL0aDzcgR30PQLq95d43bO1k_uZ8d3gXaTsfiENxePcCpZXrhyphenhyphenbCevbXgRhv-oh_I3YW5MgatfRXQROcloc/s1600/corsettodoom.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></div>
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Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-43769937063843221202014-04-03T07:50:00.001-07:002014-04-03T07:50:35.746-07:00Chicken with Apple Cream Sauce<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Once again, the University of Latverian Victors are denied their rightful path to glory through the March Madness tournament. Just because they're Doombots. Just because your laughable houses of academia cannot cobble together their own squads of competitive automota.<br />
<br />
Observe that The Accursed Richards shrinks from the challenge. If one truly possessed the towering intellect he claims -- if one were truly a Fantastic Mister -- he would provide a local university with the means to field a team against the Victors. But, lo, he shrinks from this opportunity. And why? Because even one as dim as Richards is smart enough to see the futility. THE VICTORS WOULD EAT HIS LUNCH. AND THAT OF THE ALLIGATORS OF FLORIDA. <br />
<br />
Have your games, fools. Doom's attention is elsewhere. The frost fades from our glorious mountains. The time of the gardening is upon us. Let us once more gouge the earth and rip from it our nourishment. Fetch Doom's sun hat. No, the one with the yellow birds.<br />
<br />
Speaking of nourishment, Doom bequeaths this simple concoction unto you.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">CHICKEN WITH APPLE CREAM SAUCE</span><br />
<br />
Ration your vittles thusly.<br />
<br />
Four boneless chicken breasts or equivalent mix of boneless parts<br />
1 tablespoon cooking oil (olive or vegetable)<br />
1 cup apple juice<br />
1 tablespoon crushed rosemary<br />
1 tablespoon lemon juice <br />
salt and pepper<br />
1 tablespoon cornstarch<br />
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream<br />
1 tablespoon dries parsley<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to:<br />
<br />
Brown the chicken on each side for five minutes in medium hot oil. <br />
<br />
Combine apple juice, lemon juice, rosemary, and dashes of salt and pepper (Doom prefers lots of black pepper, but you can always add more later). Pour over chicken. Cover and simmer ten minutes. Remove chicken.<br />
<br />
Combine starch and cream in a cup or bowl and pour into juice. Raise temperature slightly to boil for two minutes. Stir continuously. Simmer again for ten minutes to thicken. Stir occasionally.<br />
<br />
Add chicken to mixture and simmer until sauce is thickened to your liking. Add parsley to mixture and spoon over chicken.<br />
<br />
Rice goes well with the chicken and provides a good medium for the sauce.<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to savor.<br />
<br /></div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-32958795483356974612013-10-17T10:38:00.000-07:002013-10-17T10:47:56.070-07:00Cutthroat Kitchen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Doom has granted <i>Cutthroat Kitchen</i>, the new Food Network game show, a few weeks of his attention, and Doom has concluded thus: It's fatally flawed.</div>
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<br />
The premise is this: Four chefs are given an item to prepare -- tacos, fried chicken and a side, spaghetti and meatballs, etc. They have 60 seconds to grab items from a pantry. They are each given $25,000 and to bid on items to improve their meals or sabotage their competitors. They might give themselves better cuts of meat or make another chef cook exclusively with a campsite burner. Some chefs suffer multiple sabotages in each round. The chefs have a certain time to cook the item. Halfway through, they may bid on yet another sabotage. At the end of the time, a guest chef judges the dishes and eliminates one competitor round by round until one is left. The winner gets to keep whatever money he has left after all the auctions.<br />
<br />
The problem is this: The dish is considered a success the closer it comes to the platonic ideal of that dish. For instance, when a chef cannot make spaghetti because he has lost his noodles in a sabotage, that chef loses the round because he has not made "spaghetti and meatballs."<br />
<br />
The show demands the competitors react to curveballs and outright cruelty. The judge knows this but they are not told the specific sabotage the chefs have suffered. The majority of chefs have been eliminated because the end result of their improvisation and salvage has not produced the classic example of the requested dish. And the show is designed to make that nigh-impossible. Flavor and creativity and effort and resolve mean squat.The Accursed Richards could be judged the superior chef over Doom (yes, even over DOOM) merely because he stole Doom's ingredients. <br />
<br />
One could argue this mirrors the chaos of a real kitchen. The customers don't know what happens behind those doors as their dish is prepared. But, the judge has not requested the food. He has not decided a longtime favorite or tried something new. He is informed after the food is made what the chef has been told to make. And the judge-chef decides which dish best matches that title regardless of available ingredients and resources. Again, the chefs' success is determined almost exclusively by the expectation of the judge based on a meal he didn't order. <br />
<br />
In <i>Chopped</i> and <i>Iron Chef</i>, the judges of course don't choose the meals. But they know what the chefs have to work with and how they adjusted to hiccups in their limited cooking time. They take into account the effort in preparing the meal in addition to how successful those efforts are compared to other chefs.<br />
<br />
In <i>Cutthroat Kitchen</i>, a show named for the many opportunities for sabotage, food is judged with no regard for that sabotage or the responses to it. That strikes Doom as silly. As silly as the Accursed Richards making taco deemed superior than Doom's. </div>
</div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-60388859687740000172013-05-06T12:16:00.001-07:002013-05-06T12:26:30.678-07:00Chopped All-Stars 2013<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Doom bestows this small kindness upon you: Doom is about spoil this year's <i>Chopped All-Stars </i>competition, so begone if you have yet to watch.<br />
<br />
All clear? Good.<br />
<br />
YOU'VE GOT TO BE %$#@ KIDDING DOOM.<br />
<br />
Doom spoke about last year's <i>Chopped All-Stars</i> <a href="http://www.cookingwithvillainy.com/2011/08/chopped-all-stars.html" target="_blank">here</a> and sighed with deep relief when a <i>Chopped </i>judge failed to win the whole shebang. That loss maintained the integrity of the show. Because, otherwise, they could skip the farce and give the $50,000 charity donation to a judge picked at random.<br />
<br />
This year, what happens? A <i>Chopped</i> judge won it all. <br />
<br />
Now. Yes. These people are chefs. They can cook. They know of where they speak. And Doom correctly (no shock) picked <span class="st">Scott Conant to emerge from the judge bracket. Doom begrudges Conant nothing in being the better chef among the judges. One Victor recognizes another.</span><br />
<br />
But the presentation of an open competition is besmirched when, in truth,12 invited competitors have a one-in-three shot at facing a judge in the last dessert round of the final episode.<br />
<br />
(Shut up, Richards. Doom's math is unassailable! Doom will prepare a recipe just for you: A raw bug. Cooking directions: Find one bug. Go and eat it!)<br />
<br />
<i>Chopped All-Stars</i> should be called <i>Beat the Judge</i>, with 12 potentials squaring off to take on a representative of the Chopped citadel.This is the proper manner of presentation. At the very least, instead of one tournament bracket being all judges, guaranteeing a judge finalist, the four judges should be mixed within the four categories. That way, it's possible there will be no judges in the finals.<br />
<br />
(Is it possible two or more judges will make the finals? Doom supposes. But it's less likely.)<br />
<br />
Also of note: Last year's runner-up judge Aaron Sanchez was a judge in this year's finals. That must be addressed.<br />
<br />
Two last things:<br />
1) Give Lailah Ali a cooking show yesterday. Unlike the cackling blond grotesques Food TV foists upon us, Ali has true charm and skills. Doom would watch her show always.<br />
<br />
2) Nadia G will come back and wax the competition like Beatrix Kiddo. Bet on it.<br />
<br />
Doom out.</div>
</div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-48406161128813958532013-04-30T08:12:00.003-07:002013-04-30T08:13:25.150-07:00Doomchiladas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Doom runs from no man. Doom runs toward victory. Thus Doom is training for the Latverian Parking Lot Marathon, an annual tradition dating back hundreds of weeks. It started last year, Doom remembers not how, perhaps as the populace fled from the weekly random Doombot security sweeps. It matters not.<br />
<br />
What does matter is that Doom shall grace this exercise with his glory. Doom will join the peasantry in their sweaty revels, but Doom will of course establish a higher standard. Doom will run in full armor. What any man may dare, Doom shall exceed tenfold. And, nay, sneakers will not besmirch Doom's tootsies.<br />
<br />
If any Latverian dare tug on Doom's cape, he shall be punted to the moon. DOOM WARNS YOU THUS.<br />
<br />
The Accursed Richards would attempt no such gesture. He would no doubt simply start the race by stretching one idiot foot to the finish line and proclaim himself the winner. Because Richards is a small man who needs constant approbation. Unlike Emperor Doom, who must leave you now to oversee the mountainside sculpture of Doom's likeness. AWAY WITH YOU!<br />
<br />
<b>Doomchiladas</b><br />
Doom commands you to marshal your resources: <br />
<br />
1 pound ground beef<br />
1 medium onion, diced<br />
1 can tomato sauce (15 ounces)<br />
8-10 tortillas (5-6 inches in diameter) <br />
1 cup shredded habanero cheese <br />
2/3 cup water<br />
1/2 cup sour cream<br />
1/3 cup chopped red bell pepper<br />
2-3 cloves garlic minced/smooshed <br />
2 tablespoons chopped parsley<br />
1 tablespoon chili powder<br />
2 teaspoons oregano<br />
1/4 teaspoons ground cumin<br />
<br />
<i>* Your secret ingredient is habanero cheese. Instead of adding cheese and chiles separately, use this instead. Test it first in small bites to determine how much you want in the recipe.</i> <i>Pepperjack cheese can work if you need it milder.</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhotiUblzi6C8DaVTR6zvEJvw1zi0ph2zcVykzjVckc01CtEBaZOjBeL5P5ZccUhP88ULbgpAjD_XML4bKjtoklWeMM061-SK0_GxzcAlep_ac4XDnvhF4ZmPvbDArNU59unZ2OzCL4QN0/s1600/habanerocheese.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhotiUblzi6C8DaVTR6zvEJvw1zi0ph2zcVykzjVckc01CtEBaZOjBeL5P5ZccUhP88ULbgpAjD_XML4bKjtoklWeMM061-SK0_GxzcAlep_ac4XDnvhF4ZmPvbDArNU59unZ2OzCL4QN0/s200/habanerocheese.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
Doom commands you to:<br />
<br />
Brown the beef in a skillet on medium heat. Drain the grease. Add onion, cream, cheese, parsley, and pepper. Stir, cover, and remove from heat.<br />
<br />
In another pot, combine sauce, water, garlic, chili powder, cumin, and oregano. Heat to boiling and simmer for five minutes.<br />
<br />
Soak each tortilla in the sauce mixture before filling it with 1/4 cup of the beef mixture. Fold shell around filling and place seam side down in ungreased baking dish. Pour remaining sauce on all the tortillas when pan is full.<br />
<br />
Cook uncovered in 350-degree oven for 20 minutes. <br />
<br />
Before serving, add more shredded cheese and sour cream as desired. Doom allows you this modicum of sovereignty. Doom is generous.</div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-54347029635604484322013-04-17T11:59:00.003-07:002013-04-17T11:59:53.087-07:00Summer Stir Fry<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>As noted in detail in Doom's entry for <a href="http://www.cookingwithvillainy.com/2011/06/pineapple-butter-chicken.html" target="_blank">Pineapple Butter Chicken</a>, Latveria is flush with chickens. Awash.<br />
<br />
Twas a mild winter, and the mountain pigeons never quite settled into a proper cold-weather behavior. In previous years, they would nestle in their coops. This year, thanks to a malfunctioning Weather Dominator from that numbskull Laird James McCullen Destro XXIV -- sabotaged perhaps by The Accursed Richards -- the Latverian Strutting Wickerbeaks treated the dim weeks like a spring break, cavorting and wenching as only giddy chickens can. And so, Latveria is up to Doom's cape rope in more chickens than ever, and the peasants have responded in a variety of ways, including training them for poultry circuses, using them as footballs, and of course making more chicken dishes. <br />
<br />
Well, curs, if you must, do it right. Heed once more the Secret Gypsy Mama Cookbook, the Greasy Grimoire, and make a dish worthy of the Von Doom name. <br />
<br />
<b>Summer Stir Fry</b><br />
Gather ye these vittles:<br />
<br />
1 pound boneless chicken pieces cubed<br />
1 medium onion chopped<br />
1 cup carrot coins<br />
1 cup chicken broth, separated into 1/4 cup and 3/4 cup increments<br />
1 cup rice cooked according to package instructions <br />
1 cup sliced mushrooms<br />
1 cup red bell pepper chopped<br />
2 cloves garlic (at least)<br />
2 tablespoons sliced ginger<br />
1 tablespoons soy sauce<br />
1 tablespoons sugar<br />
1 tablespoons cornstarch <br />
1 tablespoon cooking oil<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to:<br />
<br />
Cook chicken, garlic, and ginger in oil on medium high heat until chicken browns. Move garlic and ginger about to prevent burning<br />
<br />
Add carrots, onion, 3/4 cup of broth, soy sauce, and sugar. Cover and cook for five minutes and stir a few times.<br />
<br />
Add pepper and mushrooms. Again cover, cook, and stir for five minutes.<br />
<br />
Mix cornstarch and remaining broth in a small bowl and add that to pan. Stir together until sauce thickens.<br />
<br />
Plate over bed of rice.<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to relish.</div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-79121113035310826842013-04-11T07:14:00.004-07:002013-04-11T07:15:03.665-07:00Cube Steak Stroganoff<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a> <i>Latveria sloughs winter, </i><br />
<i>stretches bones toward the sun,</i><br />
<i>and bends slowly to half-remembered obligations</i><br />
<i>to craft a summer and autumn</i><br />
<i>to provide dreams</i><br />
<i>to make bearable </i><br />
<i>the return of winter's comet trail</i>.<br />
<br />
Oh, Doom shall once more own Versus Verses, the Annual Villain Poetry Slam. Bring your sonnets, Baron Zemo! Doom will eat your icebox plums. Doom lurks late, and Doom strikes straight. Doom's ass-kicking will kindly stop for thee.<br />
<br />
Do you demand more brief lines of genius? Try this recipe, peasants.<br />
<br />
<b>Cube Steak Stroganoff </b><br />
Doom knows what you are about to bark in your simian cackles. "Cube steak is for frying." HOOLIGANS AND CURS. Cube steak is a perfect <span class="st">sauté</span> cut. Thin and tenderize, it cooks quickly and retains a distinctive flavor and texture. You would do well to heed Doom in this as in all things. <br />
<br />
1 pound cube steak<br />
1 cup sliced mushrooms<br />
1 cup beef broth<br />
1 medium sweet onion chopped<br />
1/2 cup sour cream<br />
3 cloves garlic minced <br />
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour<br />
1 tablespoon butter<br />
1 tablespoon paprika black pepper to taste<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to:<br />
<br />
Melt butter in large skillet (not iron this time) on medium-high heat. Brown steak, turning once and set aside.<br />
<br />
Into steak drippings, add garlic, pepper, onion, mushroom, garlic, paprika. Cook on medium until mushrooms are tender. Add broth and stir.<br />
<br />
Combine cream and flour in bowl and then add that to skillet. Cook until bubbling and cook one minute more. Return steaks to mixture to warm and coat.<br />
<br />
Prepare seven handfuls of rotini pasta according to package instructions. When done, pour out water and add noodles to skillet and stir to coat.<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to poetry slam that into your belly parts.</div>
</div>
Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-9472619067386008722012-12-14T07:43:00.000-08:002013-04-11T06:39:06.534-07:00Chicken Pot Pie<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a> What is that? Where has Doom been all this time? Doom has toiled, peasants. Beholdify!<br />
<br />
1) Doom once more removed the blight you call the National Hockey League. Doom shall tolerate none of this accursed ice lacrosse until you all admit the Latverian Victors are the superior puck slappers.<br />
<br />
2) Doom's Boehnerbot has once more ground your legislative gears into inertia. Again, you see the wisdom of rejecting the democratic system in favor of one true ruler, and Doom-o is his name-o. <br />
<br />
3) Doom successfully launched the low-orbit Droptrooper in an experiment hailed throughout the world. The astronaut who leapt from 24 miles above your continent? One of Doom's elite guard. If you exalted in the descent of one such man, you will lose your minds in glee when thousands do likewise. And The Accursed Richards shan't save you. It will be exactly like <i>Red Dawn </i>except good and successful. <br />
<br />
4) Doom redid his cupboards. <br />
<br />
5) Via the 'Gangnam Style' video, Doom's Psybot has installed within your feeble brain caves the subliminal suggestion through which Doom shall control your every move. Prepare to horsey dance your way into abject slavery, fools. <br />
<br />
6) And Doom has perfected a recipe long dwelling within the Gypsy Mama Cookbook. <br />
<br />
<b>Chicken Pot Pie</b><br />
3 cups diced chicken (or 12-ounce can of tuna, drained)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
2 cups chicken broth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
2/3 cup milk</div>
1 cup diced carrots<br />
1 cup diced celery (original recipe calls for peas. DOOM ABIDES NO PEAS.)<br />
1/3 cup chopped onion<br />
1/3 cup butter</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
1/3 cup all-purpose flour</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
1/2 teaspoon salt</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
1/2 teaspoon pepper</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
1 to 2 9-inch pie crust rolls </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br />
Doom commands you to ...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br />
Cook the chicken in large saucepan. Nothing fancy here, but you can season to taste. Just brown it over medium heat. You don't want raw chicken in the pie mixture as it bakes. Remove chicken from pan.<br />
<br />
Melt butter in the pan over medium heat. Stir in onion, flour, and seasonings. Stir constantly until mixture bubbles. Remove from heat and add milk and broth*.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3B5AAZicCTxPDzhKmbJgzmGWFGHH29roF6YYul5AnMNLDkhdQH4FlDcMSZN3CWnJtarfYVmM_-9MCPn000YGmFPYlLIjp1ET-i5Hc1pt347xrNPkpH6t92sNhH9CxG8ZTFoRklkLBCHs/s1600/mortar+thaw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3B5AAZicCTxPDzhKmbJgzmGWFGHH29roF6YYul5AnMNLDkhdQH4FlDcMSZN3CWnJtarfYVmM_-9MCPn000YGmFPYlLIjp1ET-i5Hc1pt347xrNPkpH6t92sNhH9CxG8ZTFoRklkLBCHs/s400/mortar+thaw.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>(*Did you plan to use frozen broth? Did you forget to thaw it? No problem. Fill a quarter of a pasta pot with water. Place broth box in the pot and weigh down with something heavy and sturdy. I used a ceramic mortar. Make sure the box is completely submerged. Warm water on low heat for 15 minutes, uncovered, and the broth will be completely thawed.</i>)<br />
<br />
Return to heat and boil, stirring constantly. After a minute of boiling, remove from heat and add carrots, celery, and chicken.<br />
<br />
Prepare your pie pan/dish with crust rolls, following instructions on crust package. Doom prefers using two crusts for each pie, one on the bottom of the pan. Pour pan contents onto bottom crust and top with second crust. Wrap crust edges in foil to prevent burning.<br />
<br />
Bake in 425-degree oven for 35 minutes.<br />
<br />
Inhale that mess.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoYaXD4ejshCvwRVNiVuNHDtW8Jj7y6h6LRufxmO12EnGL6d0Sn1PLcPIC20kJTmXeU54eQQHzZQCcRU_rv8r9yQdL6SCQvGMmVx_z7nw53YC1TjHANA9TR1At0SMe2lqYTOXDXrcSzmY/s1600/pie+made.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoYaXD4ejshCvwRVNiVuNHDtW8Jj7y6h6LRufxmO12EnGL6d0Sn1PLcPIC20kJTmXeU54eQQHzZQCcRU_rv8r9yQdL6SCQvGMmVx_z7nw53YC1TjHANA9TR1At0SMe2lqYTOXDXrcSzmY/s400/pie+made.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-52321278357292470742012-05-31T12:23:00.000-07:002012-05-31T12:23:48.764-07:00Skillet Chili Lasagna<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a> Doom has the sniffles, if you must know. Doom is ever beset by allergies this time of year, and his otherwise perfect face is a dripping honeycomb crammed with sleepy bees. Is this a picnic? It is not a picnic. However, Doom is undaunted. Doom wouldn't know a daunt if Doom found one floating in the punchbowl.Things need doing. <br />
<br />
Doom knows what you're thinking. Doom always does. The song 'Eye in the Sky' by The Alan Parsons Project? That was written about Doom. You're thinking -- a charitable classification for your low cognition -- that it must be a hoot to hear The Exalted One suffer from allergies while clad in his glorious mask. How can you linger to catch Doom unawares in this moment of vulnerability? You want to skulk about until the moment presents itself. Doom advises thus: <i>You betta don't. </i>Doom has destroyed greater men for lesser acts.<br />
<br />
But Doom will confess that measures are taken to assuage the symptoms, among them: spicy fare. The sinuses crack open like the seals of Armageddon, and Doom may once more inhale a heady rush of Latverian night air. For a time, unfortunately. Only for a time. And then Doom's nasal cavity collapses like a black hole, with a proportionate gravitational tug from which nary a wisp of exhalation may escape. And once more into despair and anger does Doom tumble.<br />
<br />
Richards never has such colds. Doom knows this. 'Eye in the Sky,' remember. Therefore, Richards hoards the secrets of evading allergy attacks for the benefit alone of his own dullard family. Such greed is the hallmark of a small mind. A petty mind. A mind wracked with envy for Doom's wonder. Richards would share this secret if he could but guarantee Doom's suffering would continue. But he needs to see Doom brought low to bolster his own stature.<br />
<br />
Doom then will bear this affliction with pride, for its continuance only proves the feeble ego of one Reed Richards. And Doom will eat heartily upon his culinary creation even as Richards dines upon his own heart. <br />
<br />
<b>Skillet Chili Lasagna </b><br />
<br />
1 pound ground meat (turkey, pork, beef, Reed Richards's favorite pet, what have you)<br />
2 teaspoons chili powder<br />
2 teaspoons ground cumin<br />
1 red/white onion chopped <br />
3 cloves garlic<br />
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes, undrained<br />
2 cups crumbled tortilla chips<br />
1 cup grated Monterrey jack pepper cheese <br />
<br />
Doom commands you to ...<br />
<br />
Heat the meat, garlic and onion in a medium-hot skillet. (Take heed: One may use a large sauce pan, but this will provide a dish merely delicious, not transcendent. If one has a real iron skillet, one is directed to use it here.) When the meat is brown, pour out any significant grease.<br />
<br />
Add tomatoes, chili powder, and cumin. Bring tomatoes to a boil before turning heat to low. Constantly stir sauce until it thickens appreciably. <br />
<br />
Plate chili and cover with grated cheese and and chip debris. <br />
<br />
Gobble.<br />
<br />
</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-61285841659097369892012-05-11T07:38:00.000-07:002012-05-11T07:38:26.245-07:00Maple Syrup Butter Pork Chops<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a> Well well well, <i>The Avengers</i> made some money last weekend. La dee [CENSORED] dah.<br />
<br />
Doom makes that much money in Doom pencil toppers. Doombots find that much in pocket change when they do Doom's laundry. Doom is not impressed. And Doom is certainly not affected by the complete lack of Doom in this film.<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>AVENGERS SPOILERS</i>: No Doom. Doom just saved you eight bucks. Buy Doom pencil toppers. There. Another quabillion for Doom.<br />
<br />
No, The Rightful Ruler of All was much too busy to appear in your tiny independent film for that paltry niche market of everybody. Doom cares not a whit. The Doom Twitter feed has unfollowed everyone who made mention of this gaudy hero parade, and the blessed silence leaves Doom alone with the mighty thoughts that humble all men.<br />
<br />
For instance, Doom has solved a riddle that has pestered your tiny brains for eons: How to prepare consecutive pork/pecan dishes while maintaining novelty and appeal? The answer is clear: maple syrup. Eat that, Richards. Eat it with a fork of pain.<br />
<br />
And you! You must dine upon this as well!<br />
<br />
MAPLE SYRUP BUTTER PORK CHOPS<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to gather yon vittles:<br />
<br />
4 pork loin chops, cut nearly an inch thick<br />
salt<br />
black pepper<br />
1/3 cup butter, softened<br />
3 tablespoons maple syrup<br />
1/2 cup pecan pieces, toasted in a low-heat pan or in low-heat oven<br />
<br />
Coat pork chops in pinches of salt and pepper.<br />
<br />
Heat 1 tablespoon of the softened butter in a medium-hot pan. Place chops in pan and cook 15 minutes, turning once. Remove chops from the pan.<br />
<br />
Mix remaining butter with the syrup and pour over chops. Let chops cool, thickening the syrup mixture.<br />
<br />
Sprinkle chops with pecan pieces.<br />
<br />
Serve with a side that is not sweet, such as sweet potatoes. Baked vegetables go well. For instance, cut two golden delicious apples, one red onion, and two bell peppers into bite-sized chunks, coat with oregano and basil, and roast in a 400-degree pan for 30 minutes. <br />
<br />
Doom commands you to relish.<br />
<br />
So you shall.<br />
<br />
</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-66478792998298813122012-03-19T08:09:00.001-07:002012-03-20T06:10:23.025-07:00Pecan Porkloin<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a> Does the absence of crushing snowstorms cast a shadow over your heart? Does this mild winter, with its cozy sunlight and gentle breezes, reduce you to cringing terror? Of course not, fools. You are heartened. Spring as emerged from its hen's egg with shocking speed, and you reel in sudden joy mixed with a gratitude in need of a subject.<br />
<br />
Look no further than Doom, for it is he who has granted you this boon. Doom's Weather Dominator (cribbed from the late Laird James McCullen Destro XXIV) delivers unto yon gibbering masses the comfort of blue skies and jean shorts. So when you bitch about Doom's absence from this journal as of late, keep in mind this: DOOM HAS BEEN BUSY.<br />
<br />
Is it not enough to know that Doom has sabotaged thousands of March Madness brackets with but a snap of Doom's glorious fingers? (Ask why, striplings, and Doom will spin a tale of revenge for the annual tournament omission of the University of Latveria Victors.) Is it not enough that Doom brought back <i>Mad Men</i>? Doom is not a happiness vending machine!<br />
<br />
Fine. Here. Have yet another recipe from the culinary grimoire of Doom's enchanted pantry.<br />
<br />
Gird yourself for the glory of <b>PECAN PORKLOIN</b>! <br />
<br />
Gather ye these vittles:<br />
+ Approx. one pound pork tenderloin<br />
+ 1 tablespoon water<br />
+ 2 tablespoon dijon mustard<br />
+ one beaten egg<br />
+ 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper <br />
+ 1 cup flour<br />
+ 3/4 cup all-purpose flour<br />
+ 3/4 cup fine ground/chopped pecans<br />
+ 3/4 cup fine bread crumbs<br />
+ 2 tablespoons cooking oil <br />
<br />
<b>Doom commands you to:</b><br />
Place flour in a third bowl.<br />
<br />
Combine mustard, egg, cayenne, and water in a separate bowl.<br />
<br />
Combine pecan and bread crumbs in third bowl. These create a dredging system for the pork.<br />
<br />
Slice pork into 1/4 or 1/2-inch medallions. Coat pork with flour, then dip into egg mixture and dredge in pecan mix.<br />
<br />
Fry slices in medium-high oil in a large skillet. Cook for eight minutes total, turning once.<br />
<br />
The pork will appear thus:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz623ns8iwI-_UN2cGhDTB9ezJzybZ65sGiw1LbCfk1h8oODTd8DK3IIAKdD4Vw1ys2Z7Jgrckjz0IZUAnUdgMLc8_UkUETlYB6XMnDGmMsDiYGBn-UYkOK-5CbKl7dVSAyTeeBVtF-TI/s1600/pecanporksmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz623ns8iwI-_UN2cGhDTB9ezJzybZ65sGiw1LbCfk1h8oODTd8DK3IIAKdD4Vw1ys2Z7Jgrckjz0IZUAnUdgMLc8_UkUETlYB6XMnDGmMsDiYGBn-UYkOK-5CbKl7dVSAyTeeBVtF-TI/s320/pecanporksmall.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
A possible side dish is <b>baked apple chunks</b>. Doom prefers baked Granny Smith apples:<br />
<br />
Cut two large, unpeeled Granny Smiths into bite-sized chunks. Sprinkle with salt and bake uncovered at 400 degrees for a half-hour. </div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-43976110255791885132012-02-01T09:24:00.000-08:002012-02-01T09:27:56.330-08:00Greek Pot Casserole<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Doombot Newt has stumbled in his campaign to be Doom's proxy in America. Doom is displeased. Doom spent countless hours (well, countless for Richards because it was more than four) assembling the perfect Doombot for this mission. Doom should receive praise solely for not applying his sterling visage onto this candidate avatar. The physical perfection alone would win the vote of all the Americans. But that victory would ring hollow. It might satisfy lesser men (hello, Richards), but for a Von Doom, such simple wins aren't worth getting out of bed. <br />
<br />
So why, we must ponder, is Doombot Newt faltering? Not for the scope of ideas. Doom shan't apologize for those. Doom's notions cannot be presented in low resolution for the masses. The ideas of Doom are hi-def all the way, peasants. It is for you to catch up. Evolve yourselves. Moon bases are merely the tip of the genius iceberg upon which your feeble brains crash and founder. <br />
<br />
No, Doom saddled his automaton with a ludicrous moral orientation and poor physiology to make the campaign competitive. But behold! Doom, once again, surpassed his own standard! Even subconsciously Doom excels. Doom is not surprised to be surprised by his accomplishments. Doom's effortless brilliance is an all-day lollipop.<br />
<br />
Speaking of abundance of glory, Doom brings to you a recipe that will provide copious leftovers, perfect for bolstering all in winter's grasp.<br />
<br />
<b>Greek Pot Casserole </b><br />
There exist recipes for meals that will not last beyond that night's repast. This is not one of them. This is a dogpile of grub to provide quick, hearty meals to warm your bones.<br />
<br />
16 ounces ground beef/lamb<br />
1 large onion, chopped<br />
4 cloves garlic<br />
20 ounces beef broth<br />
1 box elbow macaroni<br />
2 cups carrots, chopped<br />
2 cups cauliflower, chopped<br />
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes<br />
1 small can tomato paste<br />
2 tablespoons crushed marjoram<br />
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon<br />
1/2 teaspoon crushed nutmeg<br />
1 cup feta cheese crumbles<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to:<br />
<br />
+ Put meat, garlic, onion, and vegetables in your largest pot over medium heat for ten minutes or until meat is browned.<br />
<br />
+ Add macaroni and broth to mixture. Bring to boiling and reduce to simmer, covered, for ten minutes.<br />
<br />
+Add tomatoes, paste, and herbs/spices to mixture. Bring again to boil before simmering for at least ten minutes.<br />
<br />
+ Serve under cheese crumbles.<br />
<br />
Behold Doom's own cornucopia:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJHe34PFOcWSbPy4jqEH1xIhtjnL6L-hulsZ69ovSu7Pg7iOuPL6B_EE53p-Jonz3GfNWtfF6iDtMS2NrL2fhP-uQosTrJnTRdmZwf-9zZnoPd0qfufFt1UlkwbqjXRg1D28kRKToYebw/s1600/greekpotclosesmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJHe34PFOcWSbPy4jqEH1xIhtjnL6L-hulsZ69ovSu7Pg7iOuPL6B_EE53p-Jonz3GfNWtfF6iDtMS2NrL2fhP-uQosTrJnTRdmZwf-9zZnoPd0qfufFt1UlkwbqjXRg1D28kRKToYebw/s320/greekpotclosesmall.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-29969235855500966942012-01-02T13:23:00.000-08:002012-01-02T13:23:00.166-08:00Cajun Chicken Sandwiches<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Greasy Doom Biscuits, it's getting cold out there. Doom can barely stand to observe Latveria's populace practice their annual Chinese New Year parade routines in the rising snowbanks. The wailing, the pleads for shelter and warmth -- it gets old, people. Doom cannot abide repetition on such a scale.<br />
<br />
It's in that same mindset (brilliant, piercing, correct) that Doom suggests we move away from the usual baked dishes and fried entrees. Let us explore a new dish as we huddle for warmth in this brutal winter and bolster each other with our common humanity.<br />
<br />
HA!<br />
<br />
Doom actually is still shoveling out from under all these party leftovers. That means the massive freezer must be emptied to accommodate these pies and cakes. Doom can scarcely toss them out, you understand, even with your paltry brains. Doom may as well give them to those rehearsing peasants. <br />
<br />
HA!<br />
<br />
Oh, Doom is on a roll today. Doom still has it.Walk with Doom to the pantry. Take in Doom's glory once more as Doom concocts a meal to fend off this chill.<br />
<br />
<b>Cajun Chicken Sandwiches</b><br />
1 pound boneless chicken fillets (or pork or fish)<br />
1/4 cup Thousand Island dressing<br />
Tabasco sauce/hot sauce<br />
1 red pepper<br />
1/2 cup grated Monterey Jack cheese<br />
four hamburger buns <br />
olive oil<br />
Cajun Seasoning (equal parts onion powder, garlic powder, black pepper, ground cayenne pepper, & paprika)<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to:<br />
<br />
+ Combine seasoning ingredients in a saucer or bowl and set aside.<br />
<br />
+ Combine dressing and several dashes of hot sauce to taste. It will take quite a bit of sauce to add kick to that much dressing, but you'll use it all as a sandwich spread.<br />
<br />
+ Place meat pieces in Ziplock bag(s) and flatten with a meat tenderizer/mallet to about 1/2 inch thickness.<br />
<br />
+ Brush oil on meat and sprinkle cajun seasoning liberally on both sides of meat. <br />
<br />
+ Broil or grill chicken for roughly 12 minutes, turning once.<br />
<br />
+ Cut pepper into slim strips. <br />
<br />
+ Toast buns (and spread with butter if preferred). Spread hot dressing mix onto bun tops and bottoms. <br />
<br />
+ Assemble sandwiches with meat, pepper, and cheese. Add tomato, lettuce, or other topping to taste.<br />
<br />
+ Devour and wonder why you made so few.</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-81256418705414925042011-12-29T07:11:00.000-08:002011-12-29T07:11:23.665-08:00Turkey Stir Fry with Oranges<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>The new year is upon us, peasants. Doom prefers to say "twenty-twelve." The Accursed Richards says "two thousand-twelve" to convince people he can count that high. Doom knows otherwise. Richards can't count the number of people he sees in the mirror. <br />
<br />
Doom's pantry is piled to the hinges with leftovers. Holiday parties, both here at Chez Doom and at the houses of other/wannabe world conquerors, result in food stuffs that could sate the populace of Latveria five times over. Doom's magnificent eyes have never beheld this many sausage balls, for instance. Mayhap these have supplanted the jello salad of past holiday soirees.<br />
<br />
Doom is especially burdened with turkey meat, such as that culled from the carcass before the bones are used to make stock. This meat will of course be used for Doom's favorite leftover snack: Tomato and Turkey Rolls (Quick recipe: Place tomato slice and leftover turkey meat in a dinner roll. Lightly salt. Consume. Repeat 14 times.)<br />
<br />
But this leftover bounty has ruined Doom's plans for the turkey Doom earlier stored in the freezer. So much baked turkey, while delicious, now seems horrid. Doom is displeased. But Doom as ever knows how to turn this to an advantage.<br />
<br />
<b>Turkey Stir Fry with Oranges</b><br />
1/3 cup soy sauce<br />
1 teaspoon sugar<br />
1/2 teaspoon chili oil<br />
1 tablespoon grated ginger<br />
1 pound of turkey meat (breast/tenderloin) sliced into medallions<br />
1/2 cup all-purpose flour<br />
2 tablespoons vegetable oil<br />
1/2 cup sliced green onion shoots<br />
1 cup dry rice, cooked as directed on package <br />
1 peeled, sliced navel orange<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to do the following:<br />
<br />
+ Combine sugar, soy sauce, ginger, and chili oil in a bowl. Doom uses <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piri_piri">peri-peri</a> oil delivered by a loyal minion after a visit to Swaziland. Doom hears you snickering in skepticism. Then behold:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1-iJeSYT1QMSGQP7P6VXhN4PWZIvSKm6JblF5cB9TMVRgJ_bSmC0fNU1P9zGlBapMvg_DSK-fuEIQzqZxT0f2EY6h1TbrCtWILot_lQhdkfzUwjWqjCbbhq0z6iSyvrd21NHNaCRIM3U/s1600/africanfire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1-iJeSYT1QMSGQP7P6VXhN4PWZIvSKm6JblF5cB9TMVRgJ_bSmC0fNU1P9zGlBapMvg_DSK-fuEIQzqZxT0f2EY6h1TbrCtWILot_lQhdkfzUwjWqjCbbhq0z6iSyvrd21NHNaCRIM3U/s320/africanfire.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>Doom don't lie. Doom only testifies. Tabasco sauce will work too.<br />
<br />
+ Dredge turkey in the oil and flour (in a separate dish).<br />
<br />
+ Warm cooking oil in a medium-hot pan. Fry turkey for roughly eight minutes, turning once to brown both sides.<br />
<br />
+ Prepare the rice.<br />
<br />
+ Place turkey on bed of rice and sprinkle with onion shoots and orange slices (navels are seedless, making preparation easier).<br />
<br />
The dish shall resemble this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I3yE_KROMXsyqnGWIZkRkfQQxbRzmQjkY-U7kHg9b0MN80QWXgsRlEIlcYGn30KkKNM7Xgqa0gi5HSXi2diq4WmoyyFGS_Kuq7MopiXpNulTTyAraMcHCyHhjpGh_ZcB9A8LAkKjVbs/s1600/turkeystirfry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I3yE_KROMXsyqnGWIZkRkfQQxbRzmQjkY-U7kHg9b0MN80QWXgsRlEIlcYGn30KkKNM7Xgqa0gi5HSXi2diq4WmoyyFGS_Kuq7MopiXpNulTTyAraMcHCyHhjpGh_ZcB9A8LAkKjVbs/s320/turkeystirfry.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Doom commands you to savor.</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-17815781038422621762011-11-21T09:54:00.000-08:002011-11-21T09:54:57.024-08:00Baked Honey Chicken And a Warning<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Doom welcomes the chill to his beloved Latverian mountains. We does not however welcome the tourists who journey to leaf-watch. Latveria is a tranquil nation otherwise -- made safe and stable by the iron gloves of Doom. But now, sadly, we are beset by Hawaiian shirts and baseball caps. It's a parade of horrible Magnum PI wannabes reeking of airport hot dogs in a desperate need to eat gobble comfort food before daring to try our unknown vittles. Doom has many times commanded the Latverian Tourism Board to banish such trolls from our lovely cobblestones, to no avail. Doom can't even buy avail. <br />
<br />
But Doom realizes that these slovenly non-Slavs can put some shekels in Doom's caped coffers. Thus, Doom's Sojourner's Sumptuous Sucker Snacks, the newest vendor booth at the corner of Doom Avenue and Rue du Doom. Doombots are stationed in shifts, offering delicious tidbits for top Latverian currency, the magnifi-cent. And this week, the Fantastic Four Ss offers the following:<br />
<br />
<b>Honey Baked Chicken</b><br />
<br />
<b>Honey Glaze:</b><br />
1/4 cup honey<br />
2 tablespoons citrus juice (lime, lemon, or orange)<br />
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard <br />
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce<br />
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar<br />
1 teaspoon onion powder<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to:<br />
<br />
Combine glaze ingredients in a bowl. Yes, this is distinct from Doom's <a href="http://www.cookingwithvillainy.com/2011/09/doom-tips-and-honey-pepper-chicken-stri.html">Honey Pepper Fried Chicken Stir-Fry. </a><br />
<br />
Brush the mixture on 1 pound of chicken (Doom prefers tenderloins for the Fantastic Four Ss; they're cheaper than chicken breasts, even at the same weight) and bake for 25 minutes at 380. <br />
<br />
Upon removing chicken from the oven, spoon the thickened glaze from the baking pan and spoon onto pieces. You should find a thickened glaze goop to use as a topping. This is delicious.<br />
<br />
<i>Note: </i>The dish also works as a salad topping. Just chop up the chicken and add greens and veggies.<br />
<br />
<b>WARNING</b><br />
Doom is displeased to find a classic Latverian recipe within the pages of a funny book called <i>New Mutants</i>. Not because the recipe is a secret from our golden land, no, but because ingesting it will only serve to ruin the reputation of Latverian fare. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt5mg4_ah82LeIzq4XewQJad4kZr_3SToYF0Hp_KU1naIy46rvVcQwf-f0ZAL0gYcqHqbEWLlu6vcFb6wqonkuTQ9SokX5EV9B2yk3oS0AKQ50kPF756DukPnaE2F60kKlLh6qWgNS0qQ/s1600/prod1blog.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt5mg4_ah82LeIzq4XewQJad4kZr_3SToYF0Hp_KU1naIy46rvVcQwf-f0ZAL0gYcqHqbEWLlu6vcFb6wqonkuTQ9SokX5EV9B2yk3oS0AKQ50kPF756DukPnaE2F60kKlLh6qWgNS0qQ/s320/prod1blog.jpg" width="314" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE2Mhp5wUt1JNN7VDIwmkgxQN88iPd3b1_KbUS4Ezp8pw-TGjzwnK1U184kGf1EyFP9g-4Frg8wVgFT-RHVFiKN2IH0AF-yQHOrgqQh4pMY5EOP6Z-ytYScgzbI9AVo2R2PlJ7QWJQ60Q/s1600/prod2blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE2Mhp5wUt1JNN7VDIwmkgxQN88iPd3b1_KbUS4Ezp8pw-TGjzwnK1U184kGf1EyFP9g-4Frg8wVgFT-RHVFiKN2IH0AF-yQHOrgqQh4pMY5EOP6Z-ytYScgzbI9AVo2R2PlJ7QWJQ60Q/s320/prod2blog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Doom will only say this: Pack your Pepto.<br />
<br />
</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-59138503082317404472011-10-21T08:00:00.000-07:002011-10-21T08:00:01.554-07:00A Scouring Lesson<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Doom doesn't always fly solo in the kitchen. Doom has been known to entertain, especially with, as the kids say, the honeys.<br />
<br />
What? Doom can't be dapper? Doom can't woo? Cretin, Doom's got woo like you don't know. <br />
<br />
So it was that Doom and his guest for the evening were in the expansive kitchen on the third floor. Not the kitchen on the fifth floor or on the roof or in the guest house; this is the kitchen with the airport luggage carousel where Doom stores his pots and pans. Doom was of course preparing a fine repast, the finest Doom's guest surely had ever seen. (Are you reading this, Susan Richards? Does your visage blush with envy? DOES IT?)<br />
<br />
So it was that Doom, in his role as host, momentarily became distracted. Perhaps it was as Doom demonstrated a sabre dance. Perhaps Doom was in the midst of reciting the Iliad in the original Greek. <br />
<br />
Let Doom put it this way:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi86lhTILiG_mqqTzduxLMpfRk6vqYwMGRHkZl8SFdx9Wx2ZfqtTDxiM23hUGWC1W4SqcJkrqhO2_01TrsTDd_MKMYA7sNSk55MP80lRJDR4FGMHWWZLFQTpvaaa-xkrEzKzY242UuBB28/s1600/doomequis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi86lhTILiG_mqqTzduxLMpfRk6vqYwMGRHkZl8SFdx9Wx2ZfqtTDxiM23hUGWC1W4SqcJkrqhO2_01TrsTDd_MKMYA7sNSk55MP80lRJDR4FGMHWWZLFQTpvaaa-xkrEzKzY242UuBB28/s320/doomequis.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">It was then that Doom's pasta burned. The pan held too little water, despite Doom's precise calculation, and for this only one explanation is possible: Sabotage. The Accursed Richards desperately craves to live as Doom. His paltry achievements and companions are eclipsed by Doom's. (Susan, do you see? Your husband looks elsewhere, even into Doom's domicile. I sense his hidden monitors everywhere.)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Doom quickly prepared a fresh pot of pasta, but the crud remained in the original pan. This might be the ruin of cookware belonging to lesser men, but not Doom. Not ever Doom. Heed this salvaging process.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
1) Remove what pasta debris you can with a wooden spoon.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">2) Smother the remaining noodle pieces and burned crud with baking soda. Blanket it. Bury it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">3) Cover the soda and crud mix with cold water.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">4) Boil the crud water. Remove the pot from heat and let sit for 30 minutes.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">5) Pour out the water and scrape the pot with a scouring sponge. The crud should dislodge easily.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">6) Repeat as needed.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">7) Hail Doom.</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-71102815088194076002011-09-27T08:15:00.000-07:002011-12-02T16:09:02.640-08:00Doom Tips and Honey Pepper Chicken Stir-Fry<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>The Dread Lord Doom is aware that while recipes may tease the hope that you may ascend to Doom's majesty in the kitchen, it is the small touches that make a man a god and Doom a Doctor. For instance, you may appreciate the symphony but neglect the wrist position of the cellist and the finger placement of the woodwind player. Do this not. Attend to the details, for it is there -- the space between atoms -- that matter is made. <br />
<br />
Doom just blew your mind. Doom knows this. It ain't even a thing.<br />
<br />
Behold then, the nuances that may lead you closer to Doom's glory.<br />
<br />
1) Whenever recipes call for one or two cloves of garlic, double it. Triple it, even. Garlic is a magnificent flavoring. Also good for you.<br />
<br />
2) Speaking of garlic, if you want to peel a head/bulb and don't have a Doombot handy, Doom advises this:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="225" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/29605182?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="400"></iframe></div><br />
3) When making stirfry with chicken, don't cook the meat in the wok with the other elements. Instead, use a stovetop griddle to grill the chicken. Save the wok for the veggies. When they are cooked, toss in the chicken for the last-second sauce or seasonings.<br />
<br />
Or try this recipe from the Secret Gypsy Momma Cookbook:<br />
<br />
<b>Honey Pepper Fried Chicken Stir-fry</b><br />
1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast, cubed<br />
1/2 cup honey<br />
2 tablespoons cracked black pepper<br />
1 cup cubed pineapple<br />
1 red pepper, diced<br />
2 servings cooked rice<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to: <br />
<br />
Follow the rice directions. Doom prefers <a href="http://www.riceselect.com/texmati.aspx">Taxamati</a> white or brown rice (Doom wanrs you that brown rice takes much longer to simmer, as much as three times longer).<br />
<br />
Fry the chicken pieces, turning once (dredged to taste, preferably in a cast iron skillet and shortening/lard on high heat).<br />
<br />
Drain chicken on paper towels/racks over newspapers and place into a bowl. Add honey and black pepper. Toss to coat. <br />
<br />
Cook pineapple and red pepper in a wok. Season to taste. Doom prefers garlic and hot sauce.<br />
<br />
Combine elements and serve.<br />
<br />
4) If you get a double-sided stovetop griddle, the flat side can be used to thaw frozen meat. Remove the meat from the packaging and place on the unheated flat side of the griddle. It'll be completely thawed within a half-hour.<br />
<br />
5) Bake potato chips/fries on a broiler pan with a drip plate. The oil that coast the potatoes tends to puddle. The drip pan prevents saggy taters. (Note: Saggy Taters was Doom's name in Digital Underground.)<br />
<br />
6) You can easily juice citrus fruit by squeezing the fruit whole or halved inside a pair of tong handles.</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-78843574417238018442011-09-12T10:13:00.000-07:002011-09-12T10:13:17.900-07:00Grilled Porkchops Alfredo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Doom experiments. Doom pursues notions. In this vein, Doom hands today's recipe to one of Doom's official DoomConBots, the representatives of Your Lord and Savior at international conventions. No, Doom doesn't attend <i>cons</i>. Doom shan't sully his glorious personage with, well, you.<br />
<br />
Doom is out and about at the moment. Doom must apply down-smacking to a paltry uprising among the Latverians. Arab Spring has spread to Doom's door, and Doom must remind the citizenry to whom they owe their gratitude. <br />
<br />
Indulge yourself with another recipe from the Secret Gypsy Mama Cookbook in Doom's absence. Doom shan't be a moment. Allow this DoomConBot to walk you through the heady concoction. Observe with reverence the reference materials it provides. Like its master, this DoomBot is generous and kind.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_PkBczF1_DSh4VrDfL6tyMR_SuRHWFNnnwEIxp_cOOsO9Hy_CI8B-VBAqlEO_zXdvNfBsHbi8JUz2yTiwMS09fSFFL6S0bm0rrBuyHH1y2v5UzOApPsaafV4zsxmbETZb8-TVHZuNLi0/s1600/doom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_PkBczF1_DSh4VrDfL6tyMR_SuRHWFNnnwEIxp_cOOsO9Hy_CI8B-VBAqlEO_zXdvNfBsHbi8JUz2yTiwMS09fSFFL6S0bm0rrBuyHH1y2v5UzOApPsaafV4zsxmbETZb8-TVHZuNLi0/s320/doom.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>A DoomConBot at DragonCon 2011. The photographer was soon after melted for his effrontery.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<b>Grilled Porkchops Alfredo</b><br />
Loyal readers may remember a recipe Doom posted earlier, <a href="http://www.cookingwithvillainy.com/2011/04/alfredo-sauce.html">bequeathing the divine alfredo equation</a>. For expedience's sake, Doom reposts it here<br />
<br />
<b>The Alfredo Sauce </b></div><div class="MsoNormal">3/4 cup heavy cream<br />
1/2 cup butter<br />
1 1/4 grated Parmesan<br />
1/4 tablespoon salt<br />
pepper<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to combine the butter and cream in a medium size skillet over medium heat.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
Doom commands you to allow the butter to melt and turn the heat to low when the sauce begins to bubble.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
Doom commands you to stir frequently for six minutes then turn off the heat.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
Doom commands you to add Parmesan. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
Doom commands you to stir the cheese until it melts. When thoroughly melted, you may now salt and a dash of pepper.<br />
<br />
<b>Grilled Porkchops </b><br />
4 boneless pork sirloins<br />
2 tablespoons dried oregano<br />
2 tablespoons dried marjoram<br />
2 tablespoons dried basil<br />
2 tablespoons olive oil<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRkrt9GRtAowdPXJ98IrxLxDUppKxUWppnqbSD0hp8oQFmg1G19XaGS30-zYQNx6-2afkmI6ytA3lK-UeLOjpvZDng2y2jsNqyNW4EvWOE009bmD4FAKPZSMwsDMHVimB7u6Ytcn0DGvA/s1600/porkspicesbottles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div>Doom commands you to combine the herbs and oil in a small glass bowl.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixb8FuInudI4xAivnQLDsFKUpMsC0wc7jI240s0H39KwUIQpa_GvcbGRhTJFMRgH2QtY6H5Cxbba8b96gjjFKT3kflc601M5q33RmPM2JQ_S2Qdz-efIs5LCRw2pGMtNAV9Y2Dji-MRj0/s1600/porkspices.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixb8FuInudI4xAivnQLDsFKUpMsC0wc7jI240s0H39KwUIQpa_GvcbGRhTJFMRgH2QtY6H5Cxbba8b96gjjFKT3kflc601M5q33RmPM2JQ_S2Qdz-efIs5LCRw2pGMtNAV9Y2Dji-MRj0/s200/porkspices.jpg" width="200" /></a> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Doom commands you to use a brush to apply the mixture to the raw porkchops. Observe below Doom's own brush, a long-lived 2-inch paint brush from Doom's local hardware store. Silicon brushes are needlessly expensive and prone to disintegration in dishwashers. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-8W1tRwDrg9x_G0zb0zBXakm65mX8bKy3Nt0pdgv0FGswBeU_Kvphbh88bzI-4RFqMmKWGt6IsVK8vujGCx9xDuPRrj0Eax07VKXUFXOV-Ck_oDXzwB29zTXfOUjOZQ1ZwVLcTYUuIeE/s1600/brush.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-8W1tRwDrg9x_G0zb0zBXakm65mX8bKy3Nt0pdgv0FGswBeU_Kvphbh88bzI-4RFqMmKWGt6IsVK8vujGCx9xDuPRrj0Eax07VKXUFXOV-Ck_oDXzwB29zTXfOUjOZQ1ZwVLcTYUuIeE/s200/brush.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><br />
Doom commands you to cook porkchops on medium heat using a stovetop grill (Lodge cast iron is best). You will notice the applied herb mixture. Notice also the pot on the back burner, used to reheat frozen leftover alfredo. You may do this with a pot set on simmer. Stir often, if employed.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ79ouZaHZBc5cN4nk5oz9jHxbAghozi3vuAEtSfB7e3YopeXKtFojngZ_9v3sPvp1CzSh1QP-SambqrQBVv8B_aLU2B2H3ZFFmNUzwxEGGXsJ_VkkWF2XKD0GeO3MNSfEs0OdbhQXOv8/s1600/porkgrillraw.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ79ouZaHZBc5cN4nk5oz9jHxbAghozi3vuAEtSfB7e3YopeXKtFojngZ_9v3sPvp1CzSh1QP-SambqrQBVv8B_aLU2B2H3ZFFmNUzwxEGGXsJ_VkkWF2XKD0GeO3MNSfEs0OdbhQXOv8/s320/porkgrillraw.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Doom commands you to cook chops eight minutes a side. For score marks, rotate chops 90 degrees midway through cooking each side. They will appear thus:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDiyNf39r79QEwBjXB-OgB1t3wEUHgyBkyTvEeYzlld7h4Punw26TovXxsEuD4O-jP9KgqvTfQOsCTCfYGsHlQf6orU3NccyN9Q_y9VJei-bFjRbw-mmRJPMiBaJj4xD-VAhB9m7pYDow/s1600/porkgrill.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDiyNf39r79QEwBjXB-OgB1t3wEUHgyBkyTvEeYzlld7h4Punw26TovXxsEuD4O-jP9KgqvTfQOsCTCfYGsHlQf6orU3NccyN9Q_y9VJei-bFjRbw-mmRJPMiBaJj4xD-VAhB9m7pYDow/s320/porkgrill.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;">As the chops cook, Doom advises you to prepare your noodles. As your sauce becomes ready, drop noodles into the pan/pot and stir to coat. Doom at times enjoys a mix of noodles as seen below. Rotini never fails to delight and hold sauce.</div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfB0TxLvCBvXs0PKJ6QUZZyhnEXAm7UDxX2rFb_FjWUFJxlkYRFVr6wGMpuFiHu6fXLJckKlnfgG_fAHt-iOgrFQMpigp_n1SO54bW3sW4sCxFACPgZijYtBohJ4Y-xh0Ul3vWPDXmKOE/s1600/porkalfredo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfB0TxLvCBvXs0PKJ6QUZZyhnEXAm7UDxX2rFb_FjWUFJxlkYRFVr6wGMpuFiHu6fXLJckKlnfgG_fAHt-iOgrFQMpigp_n1SO54bW3sW4sCxFACPgZijYtBohJ4Y-xh0Ul3vWPDXmKOE/s320/porkalfredo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Doom commands you to smack your lips. Red wine or ale complements this dish as nicely as you will now compliment Doom. </div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-76482547752055744792011-08-24T10:04:00.000-07:002011-08-24T10:04:52.969-07:00Chopped All-Stars<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Doom has a DVR the size of a Best Buy. Doom misses nothing. But of course the management of a global empire and the constant annoyance of the Accursed Richards Clan delay Doom's free time with, as the Doom Gran might say, his stories. It was only this weekend past that Doom saw <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/dailydish/2011/04/chopped-all-stars-did-the-best-man-win.html"><i>Chopped All-Stars</i></a>.<br />
<br />
<i>But it aired in April</i>, Doom hears you mew. DOOM IS BUSY. DOOM JUGGLES MUCH.<br />
<br />
As Doom was saying, The DoomVR recorded a recent marathon of all episodes, watched recently over a few nights at the dinner table or on the couch. Doom put up his armored feet and snuggled in for some good food porn.<br />
<br />
Doom cares not much for reality shows, which are in truth, <i>game shows</i>. They are contestants. They contest. They seek glory, albeit a glory a fraction of a fraction of that Doom enjoys every moment of each day Doom allows to exist. Doom's tolerance for cooking-themed game shows is tiny. <i>Iron Chef</i>, of course, is a staple, but Doom would enjoy seeing them prepare food while actually wearing iron as does Doom. <i>Iron Chef America</i> is a middling spinoff, and one that will ever be dismissed until Alton Brown himself approaches the cutting boards.<br />
<br />
<i>Chopped</i> has grown on Doom. After initial awkwardness, the show eventually found its groove, as Doom's nephews say, and Ted Allen is an easy TV presence.<br />
<br />
(Doom correctly identified him as the breakout star of <i>Queer Eye for the Straight Guy</i>. Desperate, desperate Carson was practically licking the camera, and Jai begged it to pet him with approval. Ted, in contrast, played it wry. He did not sell himself. He sold the premise, and Doom respects that. Ted Allen: Doom Approved.)<br />
<br />
As with <i>Iron Chef America</i>, Doom desired the judges climb down from Mount Judgment (the mere piedmont of the Alps that is Doom's perpetual perch) and clutch a skillet<br />
<br />
As in all matters, Doom's whims became reality, and <i>All-Stars</i>, a charity tournament of Food Network names, featured a round pitting judges against judges. Other rounds featured Food Network Star competitors and veterans of other shows. The tournament final included Aaron Sanchez, a regular judge, and it is here Doom realized how fickle karma can be.<br />
<br />
What if he won?<br />
<br />
Doom found himself yelling at the Doomscreen TV, demanding with each of the three rounds within that final episode that Sanchez lose. The questionable outcome of a judge chosen by his fellow judges to win the whole shebang sat not well with Doom. All would be chaos. <i>Chopped</i> would be sullied. Ted may be soiled, and Doom would need avenge him, as if Doom needed one more $!#@ thing to do.<br />
<br />
Clear heads prevailed, Doom suspects. Despite the presentation of a fair battle determined by their dishes, Doom contends the judges were nudged toward the eventual winner and made aware that a victorious judge chef may well have competed against such insensible things as grass and staplers and the Human Torch. By the heights of Latveria, even Doom could proclaim himself victorious against all simply by stating it so.<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
Wait.</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-2106985519801808662011-08-08T10:50:00.000-07:002011-08-08T10:50:46.703-07:0050 Years of Stupid Richards Who Is Stupid<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>So. <br />
<br />
According to <a href="http://www.bleedingcool.com/2011/08/08/heres-why-today-is-a-good-day-to-celebrate-the-50th-anniversary-of-fantastic-four-1/">Bleeding Cool, the comic/movie news site,</a> today is arguably the best date to celebrate the publication of <i>Fantastic Four 1. </i>This marks the beginning of the Marvel Universe, which swelled to include X-Men (beat them), Thor (gave him the business), Iron Man (crumpled his loser armor), Avengers (nobodies and has-beens), and Spider-Man (please).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnHC0cOMwBh0aEClGKpOUO21EruYszK0CfTrvuhUWXjtASfWAuG-ez1jeTv0w30gko_jEGMMlVvIvJLFJ5z8VgMZ8cbuITEwBPV0U3qdTBwPQQoeybuzVym3MrsLFLk_lAue9eRlpeN18/s1600/ff1graded.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnHC0cOMwBh0aEClGKpOUO21EruYszK0CfTrvuhUWXjtASfWAuG-ez1jeTv0w30gko_jEGMMlVvIvJLFJ5z8VgMZ8cbuITEwBPV0U3qdTBwPQQoeybuzVym3MrsLFLk_lAue9eRlpeN18/s320/ff1graded.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk6_3RoAtAhAatsW9W79b_FXxo-dB1Wle6SNJJjGzh5swrycGJeu2v1dt-aIOPHWMwWwqtM6DdUJQrQsfBqKMw_NOhYafGbj4srLzjKWqFKZ8fqHmT-UDzgP1GuAgfSoJCQHBA_Zl8JWI/s1600/ff+stamp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk6_3RoAtAhAatsW9W79b_FXxo-dB1Wle6SNJJjGzh5swrycGJeu2v1dt-aIOPHWMwWwqtM6DdUJQrQsfBqKMw_NOhYafGbj4srLzjKWqFKZ8fqHmT-UDzgP1GuAgfSoJCQHBA_Zl8JWI/s320/ff+stamp.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Doom first graced the MU in <i>FF 5</i>. You're welcome.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3lOiyagOQO_jPURmKLHlMgLhuH6EawHA62Mpfs9EjwwOFnA9PoZ4PbWGETyiaT6dX46uoW3uNbsq9T7p4MCLHr_BVujlZCyskyRB8cLzm0_B-jVPNr_7Kd0KWlPq_ukap18IqiuV3yjA/s1600/ff5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3lOiyagOQO_jPURmKLHlMgLhuH6EawHA62Mpfs9EjwwOFnA9PoZ4PbWGETyiaT6dX46uoW3uNbsq9T7p4MCLHr_BVujlZCyskyRB8cLzm0_B-jVPNr_7Kd0KWlPq_ukap18IqiuV3yjA/s320/ff5.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><br />
Doom forgot where that dial is. Doom doesn't need it anyway.</div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6644076393636871791.post-57659924912503876662011-07-28T12:43:00.000-07:002011-07-28T12:43:41.845-07:00Peppered Pork Chops and Roasted Potatoes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP7F9UUS-2e4wY0ZVCGFYli0zrrsTcDNlv4YBD0B5JVG6N12nFopaeC4xGN4S0XPWoliss80pZJJ62Tgs3wT5tbDMt2ifQT98DAR6H0AfxYXLcOukezvayvJbqnDfelCXA5f6N3XMJfi4/s1600/doommugblog.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a>Let Doom be clear: Doom hates to exercise. Possessing the superior mind is already such a taxing burden, even for Your Lord and Master, that further exerting this magnificent form through something as plebeian as jogging is frankly insulting. And Doom, lest your forget, engages in near-constant war with The Accursed Richards and his witless peanut gallery. So one need not imagine Doom nestled in a couch day and night. Allow Doom to quote honorary Latverian poet laureate Big Daddy Kane: Doom works. Doom gets the job done.<br />
<br />
But Doom has taken note of the mirror of late, and Doom perceives reality in a way no mere mortal can. Doom sees the creeping, infinitesimal imperfections of which even this human form is prone. Doom is but a man, after all. A magnificent man, the apogee and acme of man, and Doom's musculature remains superb. Doom is the definition of <i>definition</i>. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Yet.Yet.<br />
<br />
Doom must take time from the ceaseless progression toward genius to refine and hone. Fear not. Latveria remains ever in Doom's peerless mind, secure from the invasions of those who would unseat Doom. The Accursed Richards must know -- if his feeble mind can comprehend such basic truths -- that Doom can repel his desperate offensives with one ironclad arm tied behind Doom's matchless back. Doom is ever coiled. <br />
<br />
And Doom shall ever embody the pinnacle.<br />
<br />
<b>Peppered Pork Chops and Roasted Potatoes</b><br />
4 boneless porkchops<br />
6 medium white/red potatoes<br />
3 Golden Delicious apples<br />
3 tablespoons cilantro<br />
3 tablespoons oregano<br />
3 tablespoons basil<br />
2 tablespoons butter<br />
1 red bell pepper<br />
1 red onion<br />
1 tablespoon cooking oil<br />
1 cup flour<br />
1 cup bread crumbs<br />
3 tablespoons ground black pepper<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to cut the onion and pepper into bite-size chunks. Then you shall quarter the potatoes. Place all three ingredients in a greased roasting pan and sprinkle with the seasonings. Do not fail Doom.<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to roast the potatoes at 400 degrees for 35 minutes.<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to peel the apples and place inside a covered pan over medium heat. Stir often to avoid burning. The apples will cook for approximately ten minutes, softening and browning. After ten minutes, reduce heat to low and add butter. Stir to coat the apples.<br />
<br />
Doom commands you to mix flour, crumbs, and pepper. Dredge the chops in mix and fry in cooking oil in a skillet on medium heat. You shall fry them for 12 minutes, turning once.<br />
<br />
When plating, Doom commands you place the apples on the chops. <br />
<br />
<b>Gravy Bonus: </b><br />
If you wish to make milk gravy in the skillet, Doom advises you thus:<br />
<br />
Remove chops and reduce heat to low. Add one cup of milk (all at once, cur!) and stir constantly to loosen crisps. Add 1/2 cup all-purpose flour and 1 tablespoon ground black pepper. As liquid reduces, stir to combine and thicken. If flour and milk clump, the pan was too hot, but you may add water in small increments as needed to break-up matter. Serve, if desired, over the potatoes. </div></div>Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17171882320145905906noreply@blogger.com0