Maple Syrup Butter Pork Chops

Well well well, The Avengers made some money last weekend. La dee [CENSORED] dah.

Doom makes that much money in Doom pencil toppers. Doombots find that much in pocket change when they do Doom's laundry. Doom is not impressed. And Doom is certainly not affected by the complete lack of Doom in this film. 

AVENGERS SPOILERS: No Doom. Doom just saved you eight bucks. Buy Doom pencil toppers. There. Another quabillion for Doom.

No, The Rightful Ruler of All was much too busy to appear in your tiny independent film for that paltry niche market of everybody. Doom cares not a whit. The Doom Twitter feed has unfollowed everyone who made mention of this gaudy hero parade, and the blessed silence leaves Doom alone with the mighty thoughts that humble all men.

For instance, Doom has solved a riddle that has pestered your tiny brains for eons: How to prepare consecutive pork/pecan dishes while maintaining novelty and appeal? The answer is clear: maple syrup. Eat that, Richards. Eat it with a fork of pain.

And you! You must dine upon this as well!

MAPLE SYRUP BUTTER PORK CHOPS

Doom commands you to gather yon vittles:

4 pork loin chops, cut nearly an inch thick
salt
black pepper
1/3 cup butter, softened
3 tablespoons maple syrup
1/2 cup pecan pieces, toasted in a low-heat pan or in low-heat oven

Coat pork chops in pinches of salt and pepper.

Heat 1 tablespoon of the softened butter in a medium-hot pan. Place chops in pan and cook 15 minutes, turning once. Remove chops from the pan.

Mix remaining butter with the syrup and pour over chops. Let chops cool, thickening the syrup mixture.

Sprinkle chops with pecan pieces.

Serve with a side that is not sweet, such as sweet potatoes. Baked vegetables go well. For instance, cut two golden delicious apples, one red onion, and two bell peppers into bite-sized chunks, coat with oregano and basil, and roast in a 400-degree pan for 30 minutes.

Doom commands you to relish.

So you shall.

Pecan Porkloin

Does the absence of crushing snowstorms cast a shadow over your heart? Does this mild winter, with its cozy sunlight and gentle breezes, reduce you to cringing terror? Of course not, fools. You are heartened. Spring as emerged from its hen's egg with shocking speed, and you reel in sudden joy mixed with a gratitude in need of a subject.

Look no further than Doom, for it is he who has granted you this boon. Doom's Weather Dominator (cribbed from the late Laird James McCullen Destro XXIV) delivers unto yon gibbering masses the comfort of blue skies and jean shorts. So when you bitch about Doom's absence from this journal as of late, keep in mind this: DOOM HAS BEEN BUSY.

Is it not enough to know that Doom has sabotaged thousands of March Madness brackets with but a snap of Doom's glorious fingers? (Ask why, striplings, and Doom will spin a tale of revenge for the annual tournament omission of the University of Latveria Victors.) Is it not enough that Doom brought back Mad Men? Doom is not a happiness vending machine!

Fine. Here. Have yet another recipe from the culinary grimoire of Doom's enchanted pantry.

Gird yourself for the glory of PECAN PORKLOIN!

Gather ye these vittles:
+ Approx. one pound pork tenderloin
+ 1 tablespoon water
+ 2 tablespoon dijon mustard
+ one beaten egg
+ 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
+ 1 cup flour
+ 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
+ 3/4 cup fine ground/chopped pecans
+ 3/4 cup fine bread crumbs
+ 2 tablespoons cooking oil

Doom commands you to:
Place flour in a third bowl.

Combine mustard, egg, cayenne, and water in a separate bowl.

Combine pecan and bread crumbs in third bowl. These create a dredging system for the pork.

Slice pork into 1/4 or 1/2-inch medallions. Coat pork with flour, then dip into egg mixture and dredge in pecan mix.

Fry slices in medium-high oil in a large skillet. Cook for eight minutes total, turning once.

The pork will appear thus:

A possible side dish is baked apple chunks. Doom prefers baked Granny Smith apples:

Cut two large, unpeeled Granny Smiths into bite-sized chunks. Sprinkle with salt and bake uncovered at 400 degrees for a half-hour.