Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Doom Tips and Honey Pepper Chicken Stir-Fry

The Dread Lord Doom is aware that while recipes may tease the hope that you may ascend to Doom's majesty in the kitchen, it is the small touches that make a man a god and Doom a Doctor. For instance, you may appreciate the symphony but neglect the wrist position of the cellist and the finger placement of the woodwind player. Do this not. Attend to the details, for it is there -- the space between atoms -- that matter is made.

Doom just blew your mind. Doom knows this. It ain't even a thing.

Behold then, the nuances that may lead you closer to Doom's glory.

1) Whenever recipes call for one or two cloves of garlic, double it. Triple it, even. Garlic is a magnificent flavoring. Also good for you.

2) Speaking of garlic, if you want to peel a head/bulb and don't have a Doombot handy, Doom advises this:

3) When making stirfry with chicken, don't cook the meat in the wok with the other elements. Instead, use a stovetop griddle to grill the chicken. Save the wok for the veggies. When they are cooked, toss in the chicken for the last-second sauce or seasonings.

Or try this recipe from the Secret Gypsy Momma Cookbook:

Honey Pepper Fried Chicken Stir-fry
1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast, cubed
1/2 cup honey
2 tablespoons cracked black pepper
1 cup cubed pineapple
1 red pepper, diced
2 servings cooked rice

Doom commands you to:

Follow the rice directions. Doom prefers Taxamati white or brown rice (Doom wanrs you that brown rice takes much longer to simmer, as much as three times longer).

Fry the chicken pieces, turning once (dredged to taste, preferably in a cast iron skillet and shortening/lard on high heat).

Drain chicken on paper towels/racks over newspapers and place into a bowl. Add honey and black pepper. Toss to coat.

Cook pineapple and red pepper in a wok. Season to taste. Doom prefers garlic and hot sauce.

Combine elements and serve.

4) If you get a double-sided stovetop griddle, the flat side can be used to thaw frozen meat. Remove the meat from the packaging and place on the unheated flat side of the griddle. It'll be completely thawed within a half-hour.

5) Bake potato chips/fries on a broiler pan with a drip plate. The oil that coast the potatoes tends to puddle. The drip pan prevents saggy taters. (Note: Saggy Taters was Doom's name in Digital Underground.)

6) You can easily juice citrus fruit by squeezing the fruit whole or halved inside a pair of tong handles.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Grilled Porkchops Alfredo

Doom experiments. Doom pursues notions. In this vein, Doom hands today's recipe to one of Doom's official DoomConBots, the representatives of Your Lord and Savior at international conventions. No, Doom doesn't attend cons. Doom shan't sully his glorious personage with, well, you.

Doom is out and about at the moment. Doom must apply down-smacking to a paltry uprising among the Latverians. Arab Spring has spread to Doom's door, and Doom must remind the citizenry to whom they owe their gratitude.

Indulge yourself with another recipe from the Secret Gypsy Mama Cookbook in Doom's absence. Doom shan't be a moment. Allow this DoomConBot to walk you through the heady concoction. Observe with reverence the reference materials it provides. Like its master, this DoomBot is generous and kind.

A DoomConBot at DragonCon 2011. The photographer was soon after melted for his effrontery.

Grilled Porkchops Alfredo
Loyal readers may remember a recipe Doom posted earlier, bequeathing the divine alfredo equation. For expedience's sake, Doom reposts it here

The Alfredo Sauce
3/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup butter
1 1/4 grated Parmesan
1/4 tablespoon salt

Doom commands you to combine the butter and cream in a medium size skillet over medium heat.

Doom commands you to allow the butter to melt and turn the heat to low when the sauce begins to bubble.

Doom commands you to stir frequently for six minutes then turn off the heat.

Doom commands you to add Parmesan.

Doom commands you to stir the cheese until it melts. When thoroughly melted, you may now salt and a dash of pepper.

Grilled Porkchops
4 boneless pork sirloins
2 tablespoons dried oregano
2 tablespoons dried marjoram
2 tablespoons dried basil
2 tablespoons olive oil
Doom commands you to combine the herbs and oil in a small glass bowl.

Doom commands you to use a brush to apply the mixture to the raw porkchops. Observe below Doom's own brush, a long-lived 2-inch paint brush from Doom's local hardware store. Silicon brushes are needlessly expensive and prone to disintegration in dishwashers.

Doom commands you to cook porkchops on medium heat using a stovetop grill (Lodge cast iron is best). You will notice the applied herb mixture. Notice also the pot on the back burner, used to reheat frozen leftover alfredo. You may do this with a pot set on simmer. Stir often, if employed.

Doom commands you to cook chops eight minutes a side. For score marks, rotate chops 90 degrees midway through cooking each side. They will appear thus:

As the chops cook, Doom advises you to prepare your noodles. As your sauce becomes ready, drop noodles into the pan/pot and stir to coat. Doom at times enjoys a mix of noodles as seen below. Rotini never fails to delight and hold sauce.

Doom commands you to smack your lips. Red wine or ale complements this dish as nicely as you will now compliment Doom.