Thursday, July 28, 2011

Peppered Pork Chops and Roasted Potatoes

Let Doom be clear: Doom hates to exercise. Possessing the superior mind is already such a taxing burden, even for Your Lord and Master, that further exerting this magnificent form through something as plebeian as jogging is frankly insulting. And Doom, lest your forget, engages in near-constant war with The Accursed Richards and his witless peanut gallery. So one need not imagine Doom nestled in a couch day and night. Allow Doom to quote honorary Latverian poet laureate Big Daddy Kane:  Doom works. Doom gets the job done.

But Doom has taken note of the mirror of late, and Doom perceives reality in a way no mere mortal can. Doom sees the creeping, infinitesimal imperfections of which even this human form is prone. Doom is but a man, after all. A magnificent man, the apogee and acme of man, and Doom's musculature remains superb. Doom is the definition of definition
Yet.Yet.

Doom must take time from the ceaseless progression toward genius to refine and hone. Fear not. Latveria remains ever in Doom's peerless mind, secure from the invasions of those who would unseat Doom. The Accursed Richards must know -- if his feeble mind can comprehend such basic truths -- that Doom can repel his desperate offensives with one ironclad arm tied behind Doom's matchless back. Doom is ever coiled.

And Doom shall ever embody the pinnacle.

Peppered Pork Chops and Roasted Potatoes
4 boneless porkchops
6 medium white/red potatoes
3 Golden Delicious apples
3 tablespoons cilantro
3 tablespoons oregano
3 tablespoons basil
2 tablespoons butter
1 red bell pepper
1 red onion
1 tablespoon cooking oil
1 cup flour
1 cup bread crumbs
3 tablespoons ground black pepper

Doom commands you to cut the onion and pepper into bite-size chunks. Then you shall quarter the potatoes. Place all three ingredients in a greased roasting pan and sprinkle with the seasonings. Do not fail Doom.

Doom commands you to roast the potatoes at 400 degrees for 35 minutes.

Doom commands you to peel the apples and place inside a covered pan over medium heat. Stir often to avoid burning. The apples will cook for approximately ten minutes, softening and browning. After ten minutes, reduce heat to low and add butter. Stir to coat the apples.

Doom commands you to mix flour, crumbs, and pepper. Dredge the chops in mix and fry in cooking oil in a skillet on medium heat. You shall fry them for 12 minutes, turning once.

When plating, Doom commands you place the apples on the chops. 

Gravy Bonus: 
If you wish to make milk gravy in the skillet, Doom advises you thus:

Remove chops and reduce heat to low. Add one cup of milk (all at once, cur!) and stir constantly to loosen crisps. Add 1/2 cup all-purpose flour and 1 tablespoon ground black pepper. As liquid reduces, stir to combine and thicken. If flour and milk clump, the pan was too hot, but you may add water in small increments as needed to break-up matter. Serve, if desired, over the potatoes.

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