Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Doom Tips and Honey Pepper Chicken Stir-Fry

The Dread Lord Doom is aware that while recipes may tease the hope that you may ascend to Doom's majesty in the kitchen, it is the small touches that make a man a god and Doom a Doctor. For instance, you may appreciate the symphony but neglect the wrist position of the cellist and the finger placement of the woodwind player. Do this not. Attend to the details, for it is there -- the space between atoms -- that matter is made.

Doom just blew your mind. Doom knows this. It ain't even a thing.

Behold then, the nuances that may lead you closer to Doom's glory.

1) Whenever recipes call for one or two cloves of garlic, double it. Triple it, even. Garlic is a magnificent flavoring. Also good for you.

2) Speaking of garlic, if you want to peel a head/bulb and don't have a Doombot handy, Doom advises this:

3) When making stirfry with chicken, don't cook the meat in the wok with the other elements. Instead, use a stovetop griddle to grill the chicken. Save the wok for the veggies. When they are cooked, toss in the chicken for the last-second sauce or seasonings.

Or try this recipe from the Secret Gypsy Momma Cookbook:

Honey Pepper Fried Chicken Stir-fry
1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast, cubed
1/2 cup honey
2 tablespoons cracked black pepper
1 cup cubed pineapple
1 red pepper, diced
2 servings cooked rice

Doom commands you to:

Follow the rice directions. Doom prefers Taxamati white or brown rice (Doom wanrs you that brown rice takes much longer to simmer, as much as three times longer).

Fry the chicken pieces, turning once (dredged to taste, preferably in a cast iron skillet and shortening/lard on high heat).

Drain chicken on paper towels/racks over newspapers and place into a bowl. Add honey and black pepper. Toss to coat.

Cook pineapple and red pepper in a wok. Season to taste. Doom prefers garlic and hot sauce.

Combine elements and serve.

4) If you get a double-sided stovetop griddle, the flat side can be used to thaw frozen meat. Remove the meat from the packaging and place on the unheated flat side of the griddle. It'll be completely thawed within a half-hour.

5) Bake potato chips/fries on a broiler pan with a drip plate. The oil that coast the potatoes tends to puddle. The drip pan prevents saggy taters. (Note: Saggy Taters was Doom's name in Digital Underground.)

6) You can easily juice citrus fruit by squeezing the fruit whole or halved inside a pair of tong handles.


  1. ha. the video encourages one to "shake the dickens" out of the garlic. no wonder why it's embedded in the blog.

  2. That kinds phrase seems more rare than when I was younger.


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