Monday, March 19, 2012

Pecan Porkloin

Does the absence of crushing snowstorms cast a shadow over your heart? Does this mild winter, with its cozy sunlight and gentle breezes, reduce you to cringing terror? Of course not, fools. You are heartened. Spring as emerged from its hen's egg with shocking speed, and you reel in sudden joy mixed with a gratitude in need of a subject.

Look no further than Doom, for it is he who has granted you this boon. Doom's Weather Dominator (cribbed from the late Laird James McCullen Destro XXIV) delivers unto yon gibbering masses the comfort of blue skies and jean shorts. So when you bitch about Doom's absence from this journal as of late, keep in mind this: DOOM HAS BEEN BUSY.

Is it not enough to know that Doom has sabotaged thousands of March Madness brackets with but a snap of Doom's glorious fingers? (Ask why, striplings, and Doom will spin a tale of revenge for the annual tournament omission of the University of Latveria Victors.) Is it not enough that Doom brought back Mad Men? Doom is not a happiness vending machine!

Fine. Here. Have yet another recipe from the culinary grimoire of Doom's enchanted pantry.

Gird yourself for the glory of PECAN PORKLOIN!

Gather ye these vittles:
+ Approx. one pound pork tenderloin
+ 1 tablespoon water
+ 2 tablespoon dijon mustard
+ one beaten egg
+ 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
+ 1 cup flour
+ 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
+ 3/4 cup fine ground/chopped pecans
+ 3/4 cup fine bread crumbs
+ 2 tablespoons cooking oil

Doom commands you to:
Place flour in a third bowl.

Combine mustard, egg, cayenne, and water in a separate bowl.

Combine pecan and bread crumbs in third bowl. These create a dredging system for the pork.

Slice pork into 1/4 or 1/2-inch medallions. Coat pork with flour, then dip into egg mixture and dredge in pecan mix.

Fry slices in medium-high oil in a large skillet. Cook for eight minutes total, turning once.

The pork will appear thus:


A possible side dish is baked apple chunks. Doom prefers baked Granny Smith apples:

Cut two large, unpeeled Granny Smiths into bite-sized chunks. Sprinkle with salt and bake uncovered at 400 degrees for a half-hour.

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