Friday, May 11, 2012

Maple Syrup Butter Pork Chops

Well well well, The Avengers made some money last weekend. La dee [CENSORED] dah.

Doom makes that much money in Doom pencil toppers. Doombots find that much in pocket change when they do Doom's laundry. Doom is not impressed. And Doom is certainly not affected by the complete lack of Doom in this film. 

AVENGERS SPOILERS: No Doom. Doom just saved you eight bucks. Buy Doom pencil toppers. There. Another quabillion for Doom.

No, The Rightful Ruler of All was much too busy to appear in your tiny independent film for that paltry niche market of everybody. Doom cares not a whit. The Doom Twitter feed has unfollowed everyone who made mention of this gaudy hero parade, and the blessed silence leaves Doom alone with the mighty thoughts that humble all men.

For instance, Doom has solved a riddle that has pestered your tiny brains for eons: How to prepare consecutive pork/pecan dishes while maintaining novelty and appeal? The answer is clear: maple syrup. Eat that, Richards. Eat it with a fork of pain.

And you! You must dine upon this as well!


Doom commands you to gather yon vittles:

4 pork loin chops, cut nearly an inch thick
black pepper
1/3 cup butter, softened
3 tablespoons maple syrup
1/2 cup pecan pieces, toasted in a low-heat pan or in low-heat oven

Coat pork chops in pinches of salt and pepper.

Heat 1 tablespoon of the softened butter in a medium-hot pan. Place chops in pan and cook 15 minutes, turning once. Remove chops from the pan.

Mix remaining butter with the syrup and pour over chops. Let chops cool, thickening the syrup mixture.

Sprinkle chops with pecan pieces.

Serve with a side that is not sweet, such as sweet potatoes. Baked vegetables go well. For instance, cut two golden delicious apples, one red onion, and two bell peppers into bite-sized chunks, coat with oregano and basil, and roast in a 400-degree pan for 30 minutes.

Doom commands you to relish.

So you shall.

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