Thursday, May 19, 2011

Pork Diane

Doom's garden has suffered the whimsy of spring's weather. The first seeds withered under a flash frost when this damnable almanac said such worries were behind Doom. Doom, of course, had the almanac's author punished even as it entailed digging up his decades-old corpse and giving it sound kicks to the dessicated tuchus. Not even the sweet embrace of death can save you from Doom's fury. Implant this within your minds. Know it, live it, love it.

Undaunted, Doom planted once more, and Doom's potatoes and squash spring forth from their dark, loamy beds to bask in Doom's glorious presence. Doom anticipates many a fine meal built on a scaffolding of root vegetables and gourds. Until then, Doom procures his necessary vittles from the Latveria Winn-Dixie accompanied by his Doombots to push the cart and test the food samples for poison. Doom is ever vigilant for treachery, even on Aisle Five. Doom's frequent-shopper account absolves Doom of all responsibilities of payment, of course. Doom merely shakes his iron fist at the self-scanner, and all charges are deferred. Such is the power of Doom.

Pork Diane
4 porkchops (boneless or bone-in)
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon white wine sauce
1 tablespoon water
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon lemon zest
1 tablespoon cracked black pepper
1 tablespoon chopped chives
4 tablespoons butter
6 carrots, peeled and chopped

Doom commands you to rub zest and pepper on porkchops as 2 tablespoons of butter melts in a pan set to medium heat.

Doom commands you to cook porkchops for ten minutes, turning once. It is strongly suggest you cover the pan lest you redecorate your kitchen.

Doom commands you to cook carrots in a separate pan on medium heat with remaining butter. You shall stir often to coat carrots with butter. Doom allows you to continue this until carrots are soften to your preference. Doom is kind.

Doom commands you to combine Worcestershire, wine, water and mustard in a bowl. You shall remove porkchops from pan and pour mixture into pan to loosen pork crisps. You shall not reduce heat. Stir constantly until sauce bubbles and pour upon the porkchops.

Doom commands you to place carrots as a side. Doom commands you to relish.

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