Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Garlic Lime Chicken

Doom's publicity team informed Doom that the world doesn't yet rightfully perceive his grandeur.

"You are seen as a tyrant," Doom was informed. "Petty. Vindictive. Obsessed with a charming family man in a one-sided, stalkerish war of wills which exists entirely within your own deranged mind. And you are cruel to all."

Of course Doom had them launched into the sun. But Doom reflects. Doom pauses. Doom, after all, is open to contrary opinion, so long as it's presented upon bended knee atop a trap door leading to a cauldron of acid. Doom is but a man, like his fellow denizens of Earth. Doom has feelings. They are submerged under gargantuan levels of intellect and genius, lying dormant as Fin Fang Doom, waiting only for a spark of resurrection to power an unstoppable torrent of rage and flailing violence. But feelings, nonetheless, people.

Doom is moved to action. Doom shall open his home -- his humble sprawling compound with its approximately 4,528 statues depicting the various glories of Doom -- to the masses, and Doom shall prepare for them a feast. And Doom knows just what to offer. HEED!

Garlic Lime Chicken

Doom commands you to prepare these ingredients;
Four boneless chicken fillets
Half-cup lime juice
1/4 cup wine vinegar
6 garlic cloves, minced
3 tablespoons dried oregano flakes
1 tablespoon dried corriander
1 tablespoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon paprika
1/4 cup vegetable oil

Doom commands you to mix all the ingredients in a zip-top bag and marinade for eight hours. Doom warns you to turn the bag a few times to soak meat thoroughly.

Doom commands you to discard marinade and brown the chicken on medium heat in an oven-safe skillet. Doom notes that preparing the skillet with oil is rendered unnecessary by the soak. Do not waste your oil, Doom proclaims. That's rule Number 3 of the Secret Gypsy Mamma Cookbook

Doom commands you to place skillet in an oven heated to 400 degrees and bake for 20 minutes.

Doom prefers a bed of rice on which to lay the chicken.

Those who dare may enter Villa Doom and nosh upon Doom's proffered dishes. Mind the trapdoor.

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