Friday, April 1, 2011

Steak au Poivre

Once more, it falls to Doom to whip up grub for unexpected company.

Doom regrets extending a standing invitation to the Red Skull and his accursed family at the 2008 VillainCon. Doom was distracted by his stately reflection in the armor of his Doombot security cordon and lost track of how many Latveria Mountain Ales consumed by Doom during the VillainCon's annual awards banquet. Doom is a friendly drunk. Doom had just won his 58th consecutive Best Doom Award (sponsored by the kind chairmen of the Latveria University), and, in his giddy largess, Doom offered to cook for that crimson-visaged buffoon and all his damnable brood.

By the Stones of Wundagore, is Skull attempting to sire the Fourth Reich by himself? Are these the Germanic Duggars? Doom pities the tortured Mrs. Skull for the horde of towheaded monsters she now watches over day and night while Red Skull slips out nightly tries to buy rounds of Weizenbock with Nazi gold.

But Doom's word is bond, and Doom shall feed that mob, and then Doom shall give them the Boot of Shoo to their collective Aryan asses. Doom's shows are on. Doom's feet demand attention from the manicurebots.

Tonight's Dish: Steak au poivre
For this delight, Doom commands you to prepare the following (recipe reduced for two people):
1 pound of top loin or beef tenderloin
1/2 cup of beef broth
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1 tablespoon cracked black pepper
2 teaspoons dijon mustard
2 tablespoons butter

Doom commands you to press the pepper into the steaks on both sides of each cut.

Doom commands you to melt the butter in a skillet over medium heat and apply the steaks. They must cook for 10-13 minutes depending on thickness. Turn them once in this timespan.
When the steaks are finished, Doom commands you to remove steaks from skillet. Keep the drippings in the skillet, filthy cur.

Doom commands you to add the broth to drippings and scrape up the crusty bits which are delicious. Then you shall add the cream and mustard. Under punishment of disintegration, you will bring to a boil and continue to gently boil for 5 minutes or until sauce has reduced by a 1/2 cup.

Doom permits you to choose the preferred side for the meal. Doom this day has chosen jasmati rice, and he drizzles the sauce upon the steak and rice as he deems proper. Doom also prepares a small loaf of bread with which to sop up the remaining sauce for it is as delectable as Doom's reflection.

Doom commands you to savor. And Doom commands Red Skull's personal herd to get to steppin'.

P.S. Fuck Richards.

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